Jenna and Jon


Jenna and Jon have been in a relationship for a while. Everything seems great until suddenly it isn’t:

Day 1: Here comes Mindy. She’s Jon’s new attractive work friend. Jenna is everywhere just shuddered at that word sequence. 

Day 2: Jenna suspects Mindy might want to take Jon away. Or, even worse, Jon might want to get himself some Mindy. So, naturally, in order to keep Jon in her life, she becomes jealous. Jon thinks it’s cute. He might be amused and/or flattered by it and he might even encourage it at first (dumb Jon…) 

Days 3-5: Jon declares his undying love and even makes a grand gesture or two. Jenna is thrilled. She has an amazing 3 days of glorious attention. She is literally high with love.

Day 6: Jenna is happy and hasn’t mentioned Mindy in a couple of days now. Jon thinks “Problemo solvado! Who said women are complicated?” and resumes his natural state of medium-attention-giver Jon (dumb Jon…)

Day 7: Jenna feels insecure. It’s not like her, really. She only feels this way, what? Three times a day? Anyway, the real issue is that Jon has been distant lately. Well, not lately. Just yesterday. But it’s odd. 

            Side note: Jenna has an awful case of stupidfish (I was gonna say goldfish, but their bad memory is actually a myth, so I went with stupidfish). She can only sample the last 3 days in her relationship to get a sense of “normal”. So after the 3 days of Jon vomiting attention all over her, the return to Jon’s actual normal state seems like a decline to her. Poor Jenna.

Day 8: This Jon being super distant thing has been going on for long enough! Plus, Jenna woke up with really stupid hair today.  And omg, Stupid Mindy just posted a stupid picture on Facebook and she looks like a cute whore! That’s the look that Jenna’s always going foooooor! So, naturally, Jenna needs herself some loving. And she dips into the sweet jealousy pot!           

Day 9: Jon is surprised at the return of Jealous Jenna (dumb Jon) Hadn’t he fixed this? And there’s something else going on. He doesn’t think it’s that cute anymore. He might not realise it yet, but he’s less enthusiastic to fix it this time around. 

           Side note: What Jon and Jenna don’t know is that jealousy = insecurity = The Big T.O. (turn off, duh). They both want to be together, but Jenna is slowly becoming less attractive in Jon’s eyes. And, instead of stoping it altogether, they temporarily “fix it” and allow it to grow. Poor, dumb Jenna and Jon.

Day 10: Jenna isn’t quite pleased with the quality of the attention she’s getting. Maybe she’s doing something wrong. Maybe she needs to go bigger to get what she needs. Maybe throw in some paranoia in the mix? And maybe some fights about unrelated things? Jon is always so lovely after Jenna convinces him he made a mistake! She needs to become Super Manipulative Jenna! Relationships evolve, don’t they? 


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Repeat a couple of years. 

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Jenna: she’s more insecure than ever. She feels that Jon doesn’t love her anymore and she despises him for it. And he acts like a lunatic, anyway. One minute he loves her, the next one he doesn’t care about her. I mean, when he loves her, it’s awesome. They have a wonderful relationship. But then there are the bad days… those horrible days when 24 hours pass and Jon hasn’t mentioned once that Jenna is the sole purpose of his existence. And the only explanation is that he’s clearly too busy thinking of other women to remember poor Jenna. It’s not rocket science! And it’s getting harder and harder to get those simple proofs of love… Jenna now has to slam doors, smash phones, throw clothes out the window and scream louder than ever. And she’s tired.


Jon: he’s more frustrated than ever. He’s doing everything he can think of to make Jenna happy. And all the while Jenna keeps saying he doesn’t love her anymore. … Which is kinda true? But he doesn’t want it to be true. He wants to be happy with Jenna. And he loves her, goddamnit! Even if he feels like he doesn’t love her anymore, he knows that he does! That makes sense, right? Anyway, he’s tired.


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